Aging Gracefully: You Have the Power

Despite what many of us have heard, stress doesn’t turn hair gray. In fact, hair never actually turns gray. Rather, each hair follicle determines the color of a strand from its very beginning. So if a strand starts out blond, it will stay blond (unless you dye it). But stress can cause hair loss. So if you’re at an age when your follicles aren’t producing as much melanin, more of the strands that grow back after a period of hair loss may be gray. As a result, it might feel as if you’re suddenly going gray due to stress.Genetics play the biggest role in determining when we start to go gray. And medical conditions, such as thyroid problems, can cause premature graying. Some evidence also points to poor nutrition and environmental exposure to certain toxins as factors. But one thing is clear: Gray hair is a normal part of aging, and it is difficult to avoid. As British humor writer P.G. Wodehouse said, “There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”

Although it’s nothing to be ashamed of, hiding gray hair is a big industry. According to an article in Psychology Today, Americans spend over $2 billion annually on women’s hair-coloring products and $150 million on men’s products. (That big difference indicates a double standard in our attitudes about gender and gray hair.) Women spend $330 a year, on average, coloring their hair. Some salons charge as much as $600 a visit. And despite the cost, an AARP article notes that about 56 percent of women over 70 color their hair.

Whether or not you choose to cover your gray is a very personal decision. On the one hand, coloring gray hair can be costly and time-consuming. On the other hand, some people prefer the way they look without their grays showing. Plus, Harvard researchers found that women who dye their gray hair have lower blood pressure, not because of some magical substance in the hair dye, but perhaps because they feel younger. (Some psychologists speculate that our bodies might internalize the messages we give them related to appearance.)

One factor that can complicate the decision to stop dyeing your hair is that going gray gracefully is difficult without an awkward transition phase. But if you want to stop coloring your hair, a hairdresser can help you create a plan.

For example, strategically placed highlights or lowlights can ease the going-gray transition. And chemical treatments like color remover or temporary color can help you adjust to having more gray hair. Styles also make a difference: As more gray appears, a layered cut can make the contrast less obvious. For home coloring, using semi-permanent dyes allows color to fade gradually. (In order to avoid patchy color, hairdressers suggest waiting until roots are at least 60-percent gray before deciding to go “all gray.”)

If you decide to flaunt your gray hair, stylists recommend using a hair gloss to keep it shiny. (Gray and silver hair absorb light, so it’s easier for those colors to look dull.) And because the texture of gray hair can be dry, you should use a good conditioner. Also, talk to your hairstylist about good gray hairstyles: A great cut makes a huge difference.

Of course, hair loss can also be a tough issue for seniors. In fact, the AARP article referenced earlier revealed that going bald is the top fear related to the male aging process, ahead of impotence. But, similar to the gray-hair trend, many younger men are now choosing to shave their heads, even if they haven’t lost much hair yet. So it may be better to accept your hair loss than fight it. Hairdressers advise that balding men avoid the “comb over,” which fools nobody.

2. How Can I Protect My Skin?

For some seniors, in addition to deciding what to do about going gray, looking great (however they define it) also involves making decisions about skin care. After all, wrinkles, fine lines, and age spots are another part of the normal aging process as our skin becomes drier and less elastic. And with age, some of the lifestyle choices we made back in our youth may show up in our skin. (For example, not too long ago, it was common to sunbathe while lathered in baby oil instead of sunscreen. Now we know that those ultraviolet rays can lead to sun damage.)

Just remember this: You’ve earned your wrinkles and laugh lines. As fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg said, “My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?”

Of course, many of us try to keep our skin looking youthful as long as we can. That’s why you’ll find hundreds of skin-care products making big promises related to aging. But beware of getting caught in a cycle of always seeking the “magic bullet” solution.

Most skin-care products don’t work instantly, so you won’t see immediate results. But that doesn’t mean you should give up and buy something new. In fact, cosmetic companies make a lot of money from our ongoing quest to find the best anti-aging skin-care product. So if you’re not sure what works for your skin, focus on products’ ingredients (not the marketing) and talk things over with your primary care doctor or a dermatologist.

Also, remember that good skin starts from within. No matter how much money you spend on anti-aging treatments, if you’re not looking after your health, it can show in your skin. Good nutrition, moderate exercise, and sleep can all help.

And, of course, sunscreen is essential—even on cloudy days. Ultimately, however, when it comes to our faces, our attitudes may be more influential in how we’re perceived than our wrinkles. That’s because people who have a happy expression are often perceived to be younger.

3. Hygiene: Why Do Old People Smell Different?

Even seniors with impeccable hygiene can develop a distinct odor. Although this is sometimes referred to as “old person smell,” the correct term for the cause of the odor is nonenal. (Pronunciation of this word is with a short “e.”) And contrary to popular belief, it’s not caused by poor hygiene or lazy housekeeping. Instead, it’s the result of the normal skin-aging process:

Our skin produces omega-7 fatty acid.
The acid degrades when it oxidizes on our skin, which produces a chemical called 2-nonenal. This chemical has a marked odor.
As we age, our skin produces more fatty acids. At the same time, our bodies’ antioxidant abilities decrease. The result is an increase in 2-nonenal production.
Seniors sometimes experience lifestyle changes that can make the smell stronger. For example, an elderly person might not bathe or shower as often if they’re afraid of falling.

Interestingly, researchers at the Monell Chemical Senses Center found that the scent associated with older people isn’t necessarily unpleasant. In the study, participants were asked to sniff materials exposed to the armpits of subjects of various ages and rate the smell. Although the scent of seniors was the most recognizable, it wasn’t rated as the most unpleasant in this context. (That honor went to the scent of middle-aged men.) In other words, it may be the nonenal scent’s association with getting old that makes us want to avoid it.

Odor prevention can take some conscious effort. That’s partly because normal soap doesn’t necessarily prevent nonenal. Odor removal must target the specific compounds produced by the skin. Although most soaps are formulated to tackle the smell of perspiration, many aren’t effective with nonenal. But some research suggests that soaps containing persimmon may work. As a result, so-called nonenal soap is available for purchase.

In addition to nonenal soap, lifestyle changes can help:

Drink lots of water.
Wear cotton clothing so that your skin can breathe easily.
Bathe or shower regularly.
Moisturize after bathing or showering.
Exfoliate your skin.
Reduce your stress, since it can increase the production of nonenal.
Wash your laundry on a regular basis, if possible.

4. How Can I Avoid Age-Related Changes to My Posture?

Seniors are at risk for osteoporosis, muscle loss, and compression of the discs in the spine. The result can be a distinctive stooped posture, as well as aches, pains, and mobility limitations. Plus, how you carry yourself influences how others view you. So good posture and mobility can help with all aspects of aging gracefully, especially your ability to enjoy activities. It can also protect your health since good posture reduces the risk of falling and helps with breathing.

But improving your posture isn’t just about reminding yourself to stand up straight. Often, you have to retrain and strengthen your muscles. Here are some good ways to work on your posture to avoid age-related changes:

Stretch. Try doing some simple stretching exercises or enroll in a yoga class. Staying flexible helps prevent muscles from tightening and keeps you limber.
Sit up straight. While you’re sitting (especially at a computer or in front of a TV), focus on engaging your core muscles. Don’t thrust your head too far forward. You may have to move your TV or computer a bit closer to you.
Maintain a strength-training program. Strength training can address the muscle imbalances that lead to poor posture. (As always, talk to a doctor first!)
Improve your core strength. Pilates, yoga, and gentle calisthenics are great activities for core strength. Swimming is also good. A personal trainer or physical therapist can help you create a program.
Talk to your doctor about supplements or medication. Vitamin D supplements and medications like bisphosphonates can help strengthen bones. But they carry some risks, so consult with your doctor first.

One of the most concise and popular aging quotes is from Frank Lloyd Wright, the famous architect: “The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.”

Although that outlook may not always be achievable when faced with setbacks or physical problems, it’s important to remember that focusing on the positive aspects of this stage of life can help make growing older easier. If graceful aging means adapting to changes in a way that reflects our personal values, then remaining positive, open, and flexible is key.

Aging gracefully is definitely possible. Sure, we may need help to overcome certain challenges sometimes. But growing older continues to have its own rewards.

2. How Can I Protect My Skin?

3. Hygiene: Why Do Old People Smell Different?

4. How Can I Avoid Age-Related Changes to My Posture?